DIARY- the goods.

I’ve come to the recent realization that I’m pretty content with who I am. Not to be cocky at all but I’m just saying.. some people are the way that they are, or act the way that they are in spite of the people surrounding them but don’t know why they act the way they do. I get in people’s face tryna justify what I think is, or isn’t right, not saying that they’re wrong.. just trying to make a point noticed. I get real defensive when someone tries to question whatever I’m defending but, I talk like this ‘cause I can back it up.

When I degraded a man to nothing, and made him feel salacious and cheap, objectified- is when he told me that’s why I’m alone. Oh is that why I’m alone. I thought it was because I deserve the best and not just any scrub, and he’s out there, he’s just with all the wrong women. I thought it was because I need someone who looks into my eyes instead of at my ass. Maybe it’s because I’m picky, but who wants someone who doesn’t want them. He’s out there, he’s just with all the wrong women.

I’ll tell you ‘I love you’ today more than I did yesterday and more than I will tomorrow. I’ll make right now special, but in a couple hours, you’ll have to wait one more year for the same treatment. I’ll give you a gift to show how much I care about you and write something thoughtful to reassure you that I’m still here. I’ll love you for the passed and next 364 days, but today i’ll show it most.

i don’t really understand valentines day. i mean, i get how it’s nice to spend time with the person you’re with, and a day to show your appreciation for one another but shouldn’t that be like any other day? anniversaries are to celebrate how long a person and whomever they’re with have lasted, but valentines day is about what? showing a person’s better half how much they mean to them? maybe. I’ll tell you “I love you” once when you wake up, to hold for the rest of the day ‘till I tell you the same thing the next morning. I’ll keep you happy because i hate seeing you upset. I’ll give you the world whenever I get the chance, without expecting a gift in return. I’ll tell you “I love you” the same, every day, so you don’t forget.

But for everyone who finds today especially important, happy valentines day :)

same people same teachers same lessons lame everything. stupid shit teen drama get over it. it may seem morbid, but it’s really a lovely place.. just not, my cup of tea.

I’m sorry I’m not what you expected

And not to be cold but

Your insecurities are not my problem

i miss the little girl whose dreams had no boundaries. i created an imagination, and made it happen somehow. text books and secrets is my reality now. vulnerability’s got it’s grasp of me and i need a taste of the little girl i used to be. i’ll tear through the stress, rip through reality, take the world and drop it on your fucking head.

damnit, i said i wasn’t gonna fall into this Tumblr concept. i’m not really sure how anything works, so i’m sure my page looks like shit atm. it’ll be spectacular some day, you watch. anyhow, i guess this is my first text post on tumblr, yay for that ;D