DIARY- the goods.

girls will be girls.

shit talkers will talk shit.

rumors will spread and reputations will be made.

there will be anger and insanity.

there will be booze and dope.

girls will talk shit, they’ll spread rumors and make others’ reputations. others’ll get angry and become more insane. at the end of the day, booze and dope will get us through it all.

it happens to the best of us, and it happens inevitably. people will snake and retaliation will occur in a certain form or other. people talk shit and get shit talked about them. it happens. girl snapped, that doesn’t set with me.

caaaaan’t wait to get tattied! i have so many idea’s running right now you have no idea, but all that’ll have to wait. so for now, i’m still sticking to plan a.. need the monaaay. 11:11 btw (:

more people than you’d think become my friends and afterwards tell me that they thought i’d be a ‘bitch’ because i look like one. i don’t see it, then again i don’t really see myself.. they say “you always got your bitch face on, even the way you walk.. etc.” meh, i don’t mean to, i guess that’s just my face? haha. oh and then i asked my family if they think i do and they totally agreed with everyone! ohgsh.

hmm, get to know me (:

his voice is amazing, makes me melt (:

why is everyone on formspring so rude?! D;

i personally don’t have a formspring, but i’ve read other people’s and my god can people get rude. the way i see it, formpring is an excuse for teenagers to talk shit about each other without telling them who they are. i don’t see the distinction.. just be real and say it to them or tell the person that you said what you said or else, how does that make you look.. i guess in no way any different because you didn’t state who you are but really, that’s actually so insane how people can get around like that. if some bitch is talking shit about any of my cats or cyatties and i know imma fucking hunt you down! hahahahahahaa, kidding i had a thug moment. but fooooreal, not cool guys.

Dilemma- Nelly ft. Kelly Rowland. I swear I play this song at least once a week for the past eight years. 

isn’t that just the worst feeling ever. to be vulnerable? to me it is. to just set yourself out there open to anything and not being capable to stop whatever it is coming at you with raw energy. that’s why my wall is 10 feet thick. i guess saying it out loud doesn’t sound ‘the best’, so to speak, or most welcoming.. but it is what it is. they say to build a wall not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through it. this isn’t the case. it really isn’t to keep people out, you can be close enough as close gets but it’s just there so that myself, like anyone else keeps to their ‘personal bubble’. but i think that the whole ‘who cares enough to break it down’ thing is really for attention, i mean it does mean a lot when someone can get so close to you like that, but to focus your attention like that, on that. i don’t know, it’s a little desperate to me. me, i just think that ‘vulnerability’ is the worst feeling ever, that’s all.

without all the hustle and bustle, just grab a beer, grab some liquor and take a sip, take a bottle pass it down, pass it around. anyone remember that song? i remember my music teacher, mr. stock, yeah him, he taught my class that song when i was in, oh abouts second grade. i miss those days. lay down, sleep my little darling. anyone remember that one? anyhow, i’m getting off topic. but isn’t it just nice to sit and relax with a bottle in your hand and a hand in your hand? when i conjure up this mental image i initially think of a truck driver or some dirt bag on their couch in their motor-home laying back with their prosties. but me, oh no, i make it all the more classy. in my nude dress and heels, sitting on my throne, a lovely sued throne, with a bottle in my hand and a lovers hand in my hand. all the more classy.

I know I stress on this a whole lot, but why can’t everyone stop getting so rude with one another. I know it’s difficult when people act on their negative emotions and the natural thing to do is retaliate also in a negative manor but really guys.. just stop getting so angry about so much. way to sound hypocritical right. I get angry just as easily as the next person, but me, speaking for everyone. I dunno, I don’t get it. When did everyone and everything become so competitive and destructive? Why can’t we all just love and let love.

for a while people have told me i would be better off with someone older than me. they said that i need a man who’s more mature and inevitably, maturity comes with age.. in most cases. i’m not sure how i feel about that. for instance when me and another girl are walking on a sidewalk or wherever and these men start looking and talking and whatever and we look over and see these men. and i’m like okay whatever age and age whatever right. and then we look closer and see these old ancient men. and after that it’s all you can see, in restaurants, raking their lawns, everywhere. it’s disgusting. older men is fine but comeonnn, if you’re middle aged then just be happy with your wife standing right beside you!

day two without my sister! D; ..or is it day one since she left yesterday morning? i dunnnooo.. either way, it sucks major balls. the house is so empty and quiet! oh well, i guess i’ll just be out of the house a lot more. on another note, i went to the mall yesterday with the bestieeeee. got some shiznit.. blazer/jacket, flats, 2eyeshadow, 2brushes, 1boobtube, undergarments and so onnnn. today i don’t know what’s good, it’s a little after 11 so whatever happens i guess. and this whole saving my money concept is not working out at all. family, a little disfunctional but pretty damn amazing. friends, losing touch, we all got our own thing going nowa’days, reconnect? boys, teehee iunno complicated, super easy iunno lol.. no boyfriend (: without a man and my friends not being around as much it’s gotten kind of lonely at times, maybe i should be catching up with everyone and spending time withemm but for now, i’m doing me.