DIARY- the goods.

‘cause every time i get a hint of that shit

it seems to leave quicker than it came

feelings have never really been an issue i’ve had to deal with

never had to worry about what i was going to do with them

or being unsure about them

or having them

i was always 100 percent about myself and how i’m feeling, all the time

but now, dennng

it seems like i can’t get a grip

catch myself long enough to figure this bullshit out

haven’t slept yet, spent the early hours at a timmies, walked across the city.

waiting for, psh i don’t even know. change.

it’s been a productive day. tomorrow, will be a rainy day.

inspiration hits me in currents f’reaal. i gotta make the best of this before i lose it again. already DIY’d a couple things tonight. can’t wait to hit up a michaels or currys and some vintage shops and get these projects didd!

y’know.. i bite my tongue and keep my shit together even if i think something negative about somebody. i don’t go spreading my negative thoughts around, talking shit. to the people that matter to me, at least. and here i am thinking that this respect is mutual. pft, there’s an egg on my face. loud enough to disperse the shit about me to everyone but me, but keep it hush when i’m around. i’m on a different page i guess, thinking we’s thinking the same things, on the same page, same level. i go away for a while and when the fuck did shit become so pretentious around here. goddamn. 

what’s the point of having a fraction of what you deserve? if you don’t get the subject in it’s entirety, what’s the point of having it at all? 

took all night getting home and getting dry. i think i’m getting a cold.

true story.

obv got hella shit on my mind.

trusting that quote, atm. smoke a lotta weed so my mind’s not present. let time do its thing. and hope that everything pans out for the best.

i think that “love” is the yearning for someone. and no, i don’t mean lustfully. i mean needing someone, truly needing them. needing them to need you. needing the best for them. needing to do whatever it is to make them happy. it is compromise without regret. sacrificing what may be important to you to please them and feeling like you are not losing anything because you’re gaining their trust or simply just making them feel at ease. once that longingness and willingness to compromise is not present in two people, it’s just a relationship. well, that’s just me.

supposedly the hottest day in toronto in 10 or 20 years or sum’n. pretty sure a heat stroke hit me once or twice. days like today you just gotta kick it indoors and let the AC do what it do. 

been having cali on my mind and i miss it so much. it was about this time three years ago that i moved down there. i miss my friends, my neighborhood, the beach, those late night ventures, the dancing and all the damn mexicans! i wonder how things would be like if i was still there. i wanna go back so badly, at least for a visit.