Efforts for the ungrateful
Busting my hump for what
In the end, it will better you as a person. Give without expecting. Be the best you can be, always.
But at some point, you’ll wonder where the efforts have gone
You’ll feel emotionally and mentally exhausted when all the constant efforts you put in to make things right, or better, or stable, don’t change a thing.
You’ll ask yourself, what’s it worth
When you are your best for somebody, and they don’t as much as try to be better for you, there’s a sense of loss due to the realization of a lack of mutual respect

Give it away like gold.

he has this ever-dawning effect on me
which puts me back from myself, and allows me to consider him first
he is happy
and somewhere in the midst of his pleasure, I find satisfaction
and when he’s hurting
I feel it in the same places
who would’ve known that a girl like me, so sovereign and staunch
could have such a toll taken by that, the atmosphere of a boy like you
but he must reside somewhere to the north of my unsuspicious mind
I flow with his eaves
because I am sensitive to him

cause more than not, i can usually bring out the best in them. and it’s wonderful and special because not many people know those parts of that person. but i do. and all the rest doesn’t really phase me. at the same time, i think i’m an asshole too. just all seems more real to me.
sometimes, when people lay all their cards on the table from the jump. wear their heart on their sleeves and all that, i find it a little naive. people get caught up in a slight feeling. i think it’s sweet. but with all the great times y’alls having now, tryna impress each other w the best, i feel that it’s all downhill from here.
the way i see it, disappointment’s much worse than not having something to be disappointed about in the first place.

i held you down respectively

little did i know you held me down receptively

checking the reception

see if i’m in session

soon as i stop mentioning

all your almost efforts

you drop me like a touchdown

there goes my lesson

clenching 

on to you cause its what you need

and i see through you

you can’t even see in you what you see in me

so confusing

you want a girl to love and hold ya

more like a doll to sit and mould to ya

that’d never control ya

or else you’d up and leave like the man growin up that resented ya

i guess i get it

but let’s let time unfold ya

i’ve been so stuck

all in my head

all the time

been so concentrated lately about being in tune with myself and the earth

spiritually, i get into real heavy phases

that i take as the universe guiding me towards something

so i take the time, and try to understand my calling

and most always i learn something new about myself

but i’ve been so consumed in it and me

that i feel real detached from the world and society and all that

people

got damn, it sounds weird but i’d really love to have a real, intellectual conversation with somebody

none of that chit chat, small talk bullshit

something of matter

and as much as it is important to me to be one with life

it is for me to be one with existence

keep me out of the clouds

trying to balance out this life a little

keep all my chakras aligned

when their intentions are clear as crystals
keep them around, them kinds don’t come around often

people don’t want to know you
they want to keep getting to know you
and they want you to keep em guessing, or surprising them with new shit they don’t know about you
and when they finally think they got it figured out (or if you lay it all on the table)
then they’re bored of you
ironic ain’t it

i mean you try and keep your shit on lock so that it doesn’t cause a fuss. i have reason to believe that keeping your emotions to yourself is the route to take because people, at the end of the day, usually don’t give a damn about your feelings. and maybe it’s just the people that have brought me up to believe that. but ironic enough are they the same people getting in my face about not wanting to hear it. and it’s not even that i “don’t want to hear it”, as opposed to the fact that you brush me off every time i have a ting or two that’s on my mind. so the tables turn..

gossip gossip, nigga just stop it.

it’s in our subconscious 

something tickles our eye’s fancy, it’s recognized more than the average

we admire it’s efforts to be beautiful

appreciate the intricacy

notice the slight embellishments to make it that much more beautiful

we consider it’s detail and embroidery, everything to make it spectacular, and reward it for it’s efforts

i sit back, and watch all my friends and foes evolve

while i stay static

sometimes

when things change and people change

there’s no going back to that

even if you don’t like to hear it, hear them out. it’s not like they’re talking cause they wanna be a bother or even that it’s benefiting them in any way. that’s some real love, they just care about your well being.